Vagaries of the English language

Vagaries of the English Language

Vagaries of the English Language

It all started with a simple comment.  “Honey, I think I’m going to take a sculpting class at the senior center.” says my lovely wife.  I think, okay I’m not very artistic but it might be fun, so I say, “Hey babe, you want me to go with you?”  She lights up with a 100,000 volt smile and says, “Sure, that would be great if you want to.”   I’m thinking it will be nice to spend some quiet time learning a new skill with my wife.  “So what prompted this interest in art” says I.  The smile turns to a puzzled look, “What art are you talking about?”  “The sculpting class” I say.  She bursts out laughing.  Now I have the puzzled look.  “Okay, what’s so funny?”  “It’s an abs and butt sculpting class, I didn’t even think art.”  Now I’m laughing, “I didn’t think workout.”   After a while we both stop laughing.

Even more oddities


It made me stop and think how easy it is to be misunderstood due to the vagaries of the English Language.  The English language has so many variations and words that sound the same or close enough that it causes confusion.  And let’s not even discuss all the local and national colloquialisms (words used and/or defined in a specific region).  That’s at least another blog post or two.  I guess that’s why English speaking countries have so many lawyers and politicians.  But what do you expect from a language where we drive on parkways and park on driveways.

A few other gems of confusion:

  • The plural of foot is feet, but the plural of boot is boots (beet??)
  • A vegetable farmer is a person whose job is to produce produce
  • Your nose can run and your feet can smell
  • “In action” and “inaction” are opposites
  • You can be overwhelmed, but not whelmed
  • “Plague” has one syllable but “ague” has two
  • ghoti” can be pronounced “fish” (often mis-attributed to George Bernard Shaw)
  • “ough” has at least five different pronunciations (left as an exercise for the reader)

All that aside, my legs and butt still hurt from that class.  So I can only reach the conclusion that misunderstanding is painful in more ways that one.  Have a great day and communicate carefully!

What are your favorite vagaries of the English language or other other language oddities? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

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6 thoughts on “Vagaries of the English Language

  1. zacharykmiller

    All that aside, my legs and butt still hurt from that class. So I can only reach the conclusion that misunderstanding is painful in more ways that one.

    Miscommunication can literally & physically be painful! 🙂 I love this. Good lesson for all!
    zacharykmiller recently posted…The Next Stunt Barrier: SAG-AFTRAMy Profile

    Reply
    1. shawngriffith Post author

      Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts Zachary! Have a great weekend.

      Reply
  2. A Chaos Fairy

    From Galaxy Quest:

    Gwen DeMarco: Look at that. Look. They look like little children.
    Sir Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
    Fred Kwan: Sure. I mean, they’re like three years old.
    Sir Alexander Dane: Miners, not minors!
    Fred Kwan: You lost me.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Local English Humor - Down Home Thoughts

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